Attention!
Recently major news networks have reported on something they are dubbing "A massive disregard for safety regulations resulting in one of the worst technology-driven disasters in Earth's history". We want to clear the air and state that this report is not true. "Project AMDFSRRIOOTWTDDIEH" is not ready to go online for some time.
A worker in one of our manufacturing plants in ************ simply experienced an unusually intense reaction to news that he may be decommissioned. We usually wait until Friday to inform an employee of their termination but saw fit to execute early due to the company picnic this week. To make ammends, we have allowed Worker #8164NG9-41 to issue a statement.
"WORKER #8164NG9-41 HAS DONE XXXXXXX WRONG. WORKER #8164NG9-41 WAS XXX HAPPY AND DOES XXX LIKE BIG MENACE INDUSTRIES. WORKER #8164NG9-41 XXXX XXX APOLOGIZE."
To conclude this bulletin-- It has been decided that each employee will be allowed to bring zero (0) guests to the picnic this Friday. We feel that is plenty.
-- Big Menace Management
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